Right now I am in the middle of chaos. I am abused!! Every week, I go home with an empty wallet because I need to pay weekly and daily funds in school. Every day, my dismissal’s at 9 pm. After all the walking and talking and thinking inside the classroom, I go to bed and sleep like there’s no tomorrow and wake up (yes, there IS tomorrow) early to another day, check on our thesis, read a few pages from my books, and worry/plan about what to do for the rest of the day or week. Reklamo, reklamo, reklamo.

Tiring.

And I just learned that one of my closest-est friends deleted me from her friends’ list in friendster. Yey.

When I am in the middle of chaos, I stop for a while. Think for a while. Then feel (this is what I do for the remaining time).

AND, from my genius calculations (haha), I’ve been doing this for more than 3 months now. Result: I am all bruised up – from head to toe. Crying = catharsis.

I still can’t say that I am COMPLETELY HAPPY because I know, in my heart of hearts, that I have lost someone so dear. I won’t go into details anymore.

There is a thick wall between us but I am sure things will change for the better. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, right?

TIME and SPACE. We need time to think things over, and regain what we used to have. Make everything go back to the way they used to.

I’ve had too much space. Maybe I need to ‘crash onto something just to be able to feel again’. <== I heard this line from the trailer of the movie ‘CRASH’. Not the exact words, though.

It IS sad that things turned out this way.